Grateful Beyond Words - Mindfull Of What We Have.

Last year, after I'm not sure how many weeks of tests, worry and uncertainty, we received Jon's diagnosis for his lung condition. We were house hunting at the time when we did not know what the situation was with Jon's health. It made things difficult beyond belief; to be positive about really wanting to move, not telling the boys anything until we were sure and getting on with life in general.

After chest x-rays and CT scans we were told he was suffering from one of three things; single cell lunch cancer, lymphoma or Sarcoidosis; we needed a broncoscopy to determine for sure. 

On May 20 2015 we were finally told it was Sarcoidosis. We had never heard of this disease which is benign but can be quite serious. It is described as a snowflake condition because it can present in so many different ways, including cancers, as well as being diagnosed in the eye, brain and other parts of the body. Jon's symptoms had included red insect-bite like marks on his legs, major flu symptoms in the beginning, fatigue, a persistent dry cough and the scans showed a huge swelling of the lymph glands in his chest.

He has continued taking steroids for it since then and luckily there have been no side effects, no weight gain etc. We have an appointment on June 1 to hopefully find out if the lymph glands have reduced in size. I have to say he is soooo healthy right now - you can see by all the work being done at the house - but we have found anxiety is a huge factor as he can at times be unsure of whether he is relapsing, if he will always be here for me and the boys when they are young and so much more.

So we live with all of this daily - I am by no means alone in all of this I know -  this is just our experience of things. I think, in a way, we have been lucky to have the work and renovations on the house to do as it helped us to get through the after effects of the diagnosis, even though at times Jon has felt he might be doing everything for me and the boys as he may not always be here for us.

Phew, what a post. Sorry if this is depressing in parts but life happens to us all, good or bad, and I know I am able to get stuff out of my head by writing it on here sometimes. 

(Another major entry for my Journal of Gratitude.)

The sun is trying to shine just now but whatever the weather, literally, I am grateful for every second I have Jon in my life, even though our time together will never be long enough. You learn that you must make the best of EVERYTHING, not waste a minute and be grateful for all you have, and what you nearly didn't.

Thank you.

Lou.xx